Ada no Nikki

Art Post 3 - Yabu Kota

2008-10-24T15:56:50Z

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Title: Yabu Kota
Medium: Mongol #1
Time Taken: 2 hours
Comment: This one's a bit rougher and dirtier than the other two because I ran out of sketchbook to draw on, thus leading me to use low-quality table napkin-like paper that I found on the floor. Excuse the crudeness, and sorry, I made Yabu's neck too long D: This one's from an older scan. If I'm not mistaken it's June Duet? Again, I choose pieces to draw based on clothes. I love drawing clothes <3 The texture didn't come out so well on this one, again, because of the crappy paper. Sorreh =_=

Art Post - Inoo Kei

2008-10-22T15:59:31Z

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Title: Inoo Kei
Medium: Mongol #1
Time Taken: 4.5 hours
Comment: Lol, boredom once again. Still from November Potato. I love that shoot, proably cuz of the clothes. Either way, the shirt took so long, it made my head hurt. I'm not really very satisfied with this one. I made Inoo's eyes too small and his hair too curly. In the end, I think it looks more like Keito than Inoo. Please forgive me for that D: Thanks for all the positive comments :P I'm running out of things to draw. LOL. Any recommendations? Please comment! :P

Chinen Yuri - Art Post

2008-10-21T13:33:05Z

School's pretty dull these days, and all the teachers are too lazy to give us any assignments yet, so I'm taking advantage of this to post some art. I was supposed to be doing STR when Chinen's Picture from November Potato caught my interest :P So knowing me, instead of doing STR I started drawing.

This work is based on the scan, basically Chinen in my style of drawing. People hate my style of drawing. You see, it's the BORDERLINE between anime and realism. People say my work is either too real-looking or too anime-looking and I end up pleasing nobody. Ohwell.

Hope I did Chinen justice in this one :))

Please, do comment.

Click to Full View

Title: Chinen Yuri
Medium: MAGIC PENCIL FTW!
Time Taken: 4 hours
Comment: Somehow, I ended up making him look a lot older than he's supposed to look, and the crease lines of his clothes are too obvious :)) Sorry, Magic Pencil lang kasi. My scanner's acting up, I don't know why the scan's so choppy :)) Please comment! :P

A guy was killed directly in front of my house.

2008-08-24T00:23:35Z

So there have been a string of robberies going around my neighborhood for awhile. Last Thursday, after coming home from a seven-hour tutorial from a friend for the Math LT (which wasn't so hard BTW), we arrived at exactly 1:11. My bro made me open the gate that night. I was frightened to find a black figure with a huge shotgun hiding in the bushes and trees in front of our house.

I opened the gate quickly and told my bro about it.

Apparently, they had set up a night watch at strategic corners of the neighborhood to catch the thief.

This early morning, that thief was caught.

2:30 AM, a first gunshot was heard from the next block

2:45 AM, the second was fired directly in front of our house, next to the garage gate. They cornered him at OUR HOUSE of all places.

2:45-3:00 AM, multiple counts of pleading and "DAPA! DAPA! DAPA!" from the guards.

3:00-3:30 AM, the thief grew silent, loosing a significant amount of blood.

3:45 AM, The police men come, but dididn't take him away, they watched him lay there and bleed to death.

4:00 AM, They took him away and explained to my parents the situation.

6:00 AM, I wake up, find a large pool of blood in front of our house and splatters of it on our gate.

My father washed away the blood with the hose before i got to take a picture of it. We're leaving for church soon, he reasoned.

Well, that sucks.

I'll just let the post do the talking.

2008-07-25T16:19:17Z

I'm sure that if you were a SIR JOEY student in first year, A.K.A. you were either GARNET, JADE or DIAMOND, you would remember this.

The "parang kayo, pero hindi" stage. Others call it MU
or mutual
understanding. Pseudo-relationships. Pseudo-
boyfriends. Flings. Almost like
a relationship, but not quite. It is a phase where the
persons involved are
more than friends, but not quite lovers. Puwedeng
may verbal agreement,
puwedeng wala. One or both of you may have
admitted your feelings, possible
ding hindi. You just let your gestures do the talking for
you. Walang pormal
na ligawan na nangyari. Hindi kayo mag-dyowa. Pero
sa kilos niyo, sa mga
sinasabi niyo, parang kayo, pero hindi.

This kind of "relationship" can happen at different
stages for
different reasons. It can happen after a break-up. You
still love each
other, and you want to be with each other but you
broke up for a reason. And
for reasons that you alone know, ayaw niyo na muna
magkabalikan.

It can also happen before a relationship, iyong pareho
kayong
nakikiramdam. Possible din na ayaw niyo munang
mag-seryoso kaya
kunwa-kunwarian lang muna. Testing lang. Puwede
ring hindi puwedeng maging
kayo kasi isa sa inyo --usually the guy --may ka-
relasyon na. Kaya habang
hindi pa siya nakikipag-break doon sa girl (sabi niya
makikipag-break siya
soon pero di naman niya ginagawa), wala muna
kayong relasyon para nga naman
hindi siya nangagaliwa kasi "hindi naman kayo."

This pseudo-relationship stage, for a time, can be fun.
Lalo na kung
naghahanap ka lang naman ng "kalaro." Pero huwag
ka lang mag-e-expect na may
patutunguhan kayo kasi wala talagang
kasiguraduhan.

So bakit ang daming nagse-settle sa ganitong set up
ganoong hindi
naman sigurado kung may patutunguhan?

Iba't ibang dahilan. Puwedeng for fun lang.
Puwedeng "buti na iyan
kesa w ala" or puwede na iyang "pantawid-gutom."
Meaning, habang wala pa
iyong the real thing, doon muna sa kunwa-kunwarian.

For those who are not in a serious relationship, they
would think
that pseudo-relationship is better than no relationship
at all. It would be
fun, if all you are after for is that "kilig" feeling.

Aminado naman ako na once upon a time, may mga
pseudo-relationships
din ako. No commitments involved. For the simplest
reason that they couldn't
commit, because they were either committed to
someone else, or that they
weren't ready to commit.

My rationalization, "okay na iyun, kesa wala."

Ang habol ko lang naman, iyong kilig feeling. Iyong
merong
nagtatanong kung kumusta araw ko. Iyong merong
ka-cuddle sa beach outing.
Iyong kapag tumunog ang cellphone, mapapangiti na
ako dahil alam kong galing
sa kanya ang message. Iyong merong laging
kasama. Habang wala pa ang the
real thing, puwede na itong pagtiyagaan.

But then I learned that although it was only a pseudo-
relationship,
the emotions were real. And usually, in this kind of set
up, ang babae lagi
ang lugi.

Una, you can't ask him to commit. Since it's not really
a
relationship, you can't demand commitment from
your partner. Ano ba kayo?
May K ka nga ba magpasundo ng hatinggabi? You will
always be uncertain about
your role in his life. You can't expect him to be always
there with you. And
if you feel jealous of the other girls, you just have to
keep it to
yourself. Ano ka ba niya para magselos?

Pangalawa, what if you fall deeply in love with him?
You can't be
sure if he feels the same way. Baka nag-a-assume ka
lang na mahal ka rin
niya. Even if you are dying to tell him you love him,
you can't. Because
you're not sure if he'll like it. Baka mapahiya ka lang.
This stage will
always make you wonder where you are in the
relationship. Or if there is a
relationship at all.

Pangatlo, what if you become attached too much?
What if you have
invested all your emotions and this man hasn't? What
if you remain faithful
to him, not entertaining other guys, only to find out
that he is seeing
other girls?

Isa pang downside ng pseudo-relationships, it is
fleeting. When a
disagreement sets in, or when one of you gets cold,
then that would be the
end of it. Unlike in a serious relationship, hindi mo
alam kung saan ka
lulugar sa isang pseudo-relationship. Wala kang
panghahawakan. Kasi sa
pseudo-relationship, there is no "us." Meron lang "you
and me," hindi "us."

Buti sana kung pseudo-pain din lang ang
mararanasan mo. Kaso, hindi
eh. Real pain. And usually, kahit tapos na ang pseudo-
relationship, hindi mo
maiwasan umasang one day, may karugtong pa rin
iyun. And you will be
miserable, hoping to bring back what you used to
have, only to find out
eventually that the guy is in another pseudo-
relationship with somebody
else. Ang hirap, ano? You agreed to this kind of set up
for fun and then
you'd end up hurting yourself in the process. Pero
puwede naman maiwasan ang
pain eh. Puwede naman na hindi mo muna isipin ang
future and just enjoy the
feeling, without thinking of the consequences.

But if you are certain that you are going to hurt
yourself in the
process, kailangan mo mamili. You can be happy and
live the moment without
worrying what would happen next. Or you can stop
settling with
pseudo-relationships and wait for the real thing.

When I was younger and in a pseudo-relationship with
an unavailable
guy, a friend told me, "Sige, kung ayaw mong
magpapigil, bahala ka.
Magpakasaya ka. Pero huwag kang iiyak-iyak
pagkatapos, dahil tatadyakan
kita."

Ang bottom line lang naman, kung magpapasaya sa
iyo, gawin mo.
Ihanda mo lang ang sarili mo sa consequence. Dahil
ang "parang kayo pero
hindi" stage ay bihirang nagiging totoo. Usually,
hanggang doon lang siya
... almost, but not quite.

Quoted from a post by Conrad Olega two years or so ago.

In a month...

2008-06-29T15:38:36Z

I'm hopping on the "1 Month Post" bandwagon everyone from Pisay has going on in their blogs.

In fact, it really is quite amusing how much can change in one month.

In one month I went from a fangirl who made posts 3 to 5 times a day to a haggard student who barely manages to post 2 or three times a week.

In one month I went from being best friends with a person to ignoring a person to being best friends with him once again.

In one month I managed to avoid going to the clinic 5 times (1 of those times my friends noticed)

In one month I went from totally hating my class to totally loving it.

In one month I went from being the emo loner who draws on sketchbooks during dismissal to the hyper matchmaker who has a total of three successful set-ups.

In one month I lost 2 pounds, gained them back and lost them again.

In one month I went from being a prejudiced front lobber to a neutral front lobber (lol, thanks mark :P )

In one month I went from striving to be overly responsible to not even giving a damn anymore.

In one month I went from totally understanding Chem to totally failing it.

In one month, I managed to get hit in the face not less than 5 times.

In one month I was able to make people's lives a little easier than they were before.

In one month, I managed to be called AR-JELL at least 40 times.

In one month, I managed to totally space off in almost all my classes.

In one month, I managed to turn somebody's crush on me into a crush on someone else and realize that I actually had a crush on that person.

And in one month, I realized that one month is already too much for me to bear. What am I doing here? To think I have 2 more years of pure torture ;_;

The only thing that makes one month bearable...

Are the people I spend it with.

So this goes out to you. You know who you all are <3

I'M CRYING.

2008-06-25T14:58:14Z

I'm sorry for killing your F-pages, I swear.

But when I saw this in marskychuu's journal I couldn't resist.

EVERYBODY KNOWS TAIYO IS MY ICHIBAN (right next to Keito)

And seeing him here, with HIKARU, with a normal NON-IDOL haircut, being happy and just enjoying the company of friends on a school trip... It makes me so happy. Just to see that he's getting a long well, he's healthy, and he's still tall enough to have to bend down to be in the same focus as the others in a camera shot.

TAIYO, WE MISS YOU.

School Post and Pictures

2008-06-24T12:46:08Z

Lol, I love Keito in a school uniform XD. So appropriate for a school post.

So today we had Monday Sched even though it was a Tuesday. Something I really appreciate because I'm not very fond of Tuesdays.

So Health was a "free" period. Ma'am didn't come so our Prez and VP made us talk about Ramayana - not like anyone was actually listening. lol

That's them. They're both very pretty IRL. I'm just a really bad photographer. Cat (on the left) is especially pretty. It's ridiculous how many people have crushes on her LOL. (She looks like a pretty girl version of Arioka Daiki)

A few periods later, we were up in room 305 (Jade room D:) for SA elections. Apparently, that's our HR Classroom =_= So very far away. LOL. It was funny though, because our adviser is very un-adviser-like. I love him <3 I don't have a pic of him though.

LOL I actually took more pictures, about 15, but only 5 of them got saved on my phone. The other 10 mysteriously disappeared x_x

This is my in-class OTP.

The more uke guy is Gino. He's taken (by a certain PRINCESS). The guy in glasses is the geek ng bayan, Elvis Ayroso. Awesome at math and my groupmate in almost everything. They're actually very lovey dovey with other guys as well (what can I say, my whole class is gay) but I like these two together the best LOL. And yes, that's Elvis giving me the finger. It seems they want their privacy LOL.

From left to right, it's Gino, Elvis and Chuck. Chuck's the supposed Yabu look-alike. But he cut his hair, got a bit chubbier and wore glasses today, so he turned out looking more like Shige instead =_= But I must admit, megane-chuck is awesome <3

Kaninong paa yan? (Whose feet are those?) LOL
This is my failed attempt at trying to be artistic. x_x Remind me to never try again.
The feet on the right are obviously Mirko's. I pity his shoes D: The ones on the left are Tei's, I think. Shoes tell who you are :P

Last but not least, a picture of the view from our HR classroom:

The view is awesome. We used to see this view every day in first year. Now all we see is the crappy creek and ASTB. I never thought I'd miss the first year classrooms so much, but this view proves otherwise.

P.S. if you look closely, there are two people PDAing in the grandstand LOL.

I'll update later. Church first.

I need an Ego Boost. And an Identity. HELP ME.

2008-06-23T05:56:50Z

While looking for my old I.S. notes from Ma'am Toledo (for physics hw lol), I stumbled upon the "Dahlia Impressions Paper" thing we did in fourth quarter last year.

We had to write our name on a paper and people would write what they think of you. It's one of the activities I really thanked Ma'am Sabanal for because it made such an impact, because even though I didn't exactly enjoy Dahlia, and even though I'm sure some of them were just being nice in writing what they thought of me, it gave me a big boost on my self-esteem.

So I'm recalling it now and I'm getting motivated, even a bit, to try hard at everything this week. (Sana nga, cuz I'm failing chem DDDDDD: )

So yeah, Just for fun, I'm writing what they wrote about me here (almost exactly as they wrote it), and I'm sure you won't be surprised at what they wrote down. (comments in italics are me)

ARJELLE DECASA AGUPITAN IS...

Creative, matulungin, helpful, masayang kasama, astig, popular (<- wtf at the popular part LOL)

Magaling magdrawing! nanlilibre! Mahilig sa ~~anime/~~JAPAN stuff... Gumagawa lagi :))

Berry gud leader! As in. and really smart (WAH, I'M NOT SMART ANYMORE THIS YEAR). Plus, uber friendly. =D

Matalino and very creative. you have good qualities as a leader. You're also very good in public speaking... I admire that in you!! (kay Rain ata to lol)

Aduh. A hardworking bee. Super talented in drawing. A very caring and LOUD (good) girl. - athena :)

Supah nihonggo person... magaling mag-draw... Kawaii desuwa (lol, I'm flattered |D)... =P - Eronz (aaron)

Adik sa japanese na bagay... pero mabait at masayang kasama (penge tokyo tokyo) (<---- LOL WTF)

Magaling magdrawing, matalino, talks a lot, but sensibly

Good at being artistic, smart and responsible and really like stuff from Japan.

Ada! Artistic and Authentic Japanese! (lol, I wish) YOU ROCK! Approachable and friendly! - Lance

Fangirl. Hardworking (very). Veru Creative. Has a good sense of humor. Cares for Everyone. (I think this one made me cry.)

YEAH! Mabait. Masipag. Japan. Magaling magdrawing.

Thanks sa lahat ng libre. Sorry if irresponsible akong groupmate (sino kaya to... LOL)

Hi! Ada=matalino, mabait (kahit di naaappreciate ng iba) at kalog... Di lang yon napapansin ng ibang tao. Gusto ko pa siyang maging friend - Pate (omg, I miss her so much TT_TT)

Napakasobrangtalino. Japanese.

Nakakatuwa ka. Alam mo ba maraming may crush sa iyo? -Filemon (I have no idea who this guy is. seriously. There isn't even anybody named Filemon in my class =_=)

Japanese trapped in a Filipino body.

SHARE THE CREATIVITY.

Mabait. Creative. Artistic. Laging masaya. Friendly.

Minsan Hyper, Minsang malungkot. Very responsible (di na ako responsible D:) Dozo Yoroshiku.

Mahilig sa japanese blahblah. Basta matalino at mabait, concerned sa mga tao! (I'm glad people notice :D )

Lol Decasa. Ada is very fun and caring. She is great to talk to, even when there's nothing tot alk about. She is very responsible and won't tell me what furareta is. (Actually Gorio, it means getting DUMPED lol)

Magaling magdrawing.

Mabait. Mahilig sa Japanese Stuff. Napakatalino.

You're very intelligent and responsible. I hope you'll someday find ways to put your talents to good use for others! - Ma'am Sabanal (Ma'am, wah. di na ako intelligent at responsible)

Sobrang talino. Masayahin. Mabait. Adik sa japan. Creative. Gagawin ang dapat gawin.

Just keep your hopes up! (I don't know who wrote this, but thanks <3)

Hyper at times, minsan emo. Palaging nalilibre... masaya. Kasama sa caf... Treasures her friends. Good Leader. (Kay elsie ata to. Not sure D:)

Responsible. Adik sa kahit anong hapon.

ADIK sa madaming bagay. Haha responsible ska umm dligent - Thomas (Kay chuck to. LOL)

adik sa JAPAN ~~medyo~~ lang naman. :)) Fangirl na ung student by day :)) Always fangirl. very creative and smart! TC!

So to sum it all up, they think I'm Creative, Smart and Addicted to Japan. I am SO PROUD.

So there. Kahit medyo bola lang yung mga sulat nila sa akin, nagkaego-trip na tuloy ako.

Ewan. Di na kasi ako responsible at matalino. Di na ako special. Kasi nandyan na sila Cat, Courtney, Trixy, Oona, Hanna atbp. La na akong identitiy. Kaya medyo... uhm, bagsak na ako sa lahat.

Motivate nyo naman ako D:

Translation:
OMG I DONT' KNOW WHO I AM ANYMORE. GIVE ME AN IDENTITY HERE IN POTASSIUM.

I am so easily distracted

2008-06-20T17:34:46Z

I actually think I got a zero on a chemistry problem set today. A zero over fifty? Ohwell.

Despite having a lot of assignments, a whole lot of quizzes and long tests scheduled for next week, I am once more preoccupied with useless things.

A few hours ago I found myself bored, so I started practicing how to draw guys. A few strokes later, I realized that the guy I drew looked a lot like our lead character for the Ramayana Play.

I continued the drawing with a new goal in mind - to complete a tentative Ramayana Poster.

Original sketch - Partially Inked

Original Sketch - Fully Inked (the previous one looked better TT_TT)

And this is what I have so far, colored and rendered on Photoshop.

I'll probably continue this tomorrow, after I finish all my assignments.

ohcamon says I made the guy that plays Rama way hotter than he is in real life, which is actually true, but yeah, there's a resemblance. And yes, he does actually have arms and muscles like that, believe it or not.

As for our lead actress for Sita, that really is the height difference between them. She's actually perfect for the part, except for the fact that the girl who plays our lead is too pale and has short hair. Nothing that can't be solved with a wig and a little bronzer.

Please look forward to the completed poster, and to our Third Year Renditon of the Hindu Ramayana.

I still think the first sketch is better than the rendered one though x_x any recommendations? (and forgive the utter crappiness of the longbow. I don't usually draw weapons.

alkfjaevbiu

2008-06-19T16:06:22Z

My grades are gonna die this quarter, and it's just first quarter. I'm probably going to get a 1.4something something, as opposed to my usual 1.2 something something if I keep my slacking off.

There are just so many distractions, and it doesn't help that I have no motivation whatsoever when it comes to Math or Science courses.

afklaneakfk. Screw Bio. Screw Physics. Screw Chem. The only subjects I actually enjoy these days are Filipino, SocSci, and unbelievably, Math (but only because Ma'am de Joya's pretty nice to me and my partner Mirko makes life bearable).

I should just transfer schools now to save myself the misery. UGH. WHY AM I SO EMO.

Oh yeah, it's HIS fault. =_= While we're at it, SCREW HIM as well.

Survey because school makes me want to slash myself D8

1. Who is the first person you think of when someone asks you who you like?
Two People. Okamoto Keito and another guy :P

2. Do you drool/talk/etc. in your sleep?
I think I talk in my sleep when I have a bad dream. My mom complained about it once. I also cry in my sleep, it's happening more often these days LOL.

3. What curse word do you say the most when your pissed?
Crap. (it's not a swear, but it's my anti-derrogatory tool)

4. Are you happy?
Eeeeeh, generally people think I'm a happy person :P But actually I'm all black hole and darkness inside =_= LOL ahahahaha

5. Have you ever liked someone who all your friends hated?
OMG YES. OMG BIG YES. LOLOLOLOL.

6. If you were born the opposite sex, what would your parents name you?
WTF, Never thought of that :P I always thought the name Charles was cute. No connection with Chuck or Charlez whatsoever, I swear.

7. Are you tan?
Depends =_= When I'm sick, I'm dreadfully pale

8. Hair color?
I have the habit of calling my haircolor "coffee" now. It sounds so much better than black or dark brown.

9. Last magazine you read?
Wink Up July 2008?

10. Confused about anything?
Chem. Physics. Life. = Three things I hate a lot right now.

11. Do you have any pets?
A dog, lots of lizards, some cats that won't stop doing it on my roof and other misc. creatures.

12. Do your initials spell anything?
ADA! lol

13. Last person you fought with?
Tei Mendoza = world's most fickle person in the world (redundancy for emphasis :P). I mean seriously, wtf?

14. What's one thing you actually remember about kindergarten?
I remember failing a quiz on the greater than and equal sign LOL.

15. How do you calm down when your extremely angry?
Blog, listen to music, text some people, and cry. a lot :D

16. Where do you want to go vacation wise?
Japan. :D Or England 8D (wherever Keito is LOL)

17. Do you prefer to call or text someone?
Depends on the person. But I generally text people out of habit.

18. What are you listening to?
It was Amy Studt awhile ago, now it's KAT-TUN (yes, I listen to their songs, I just don't like them in general)

19. How much do you get paid an hour at your job?
I don't have a job. If I did, I wouldn't have to go to school.

20. Last movie you watched?
LOLs - The Reaping, just a few hours ago. Stupid movie really.

21. What are you doing tomorrow?
I was planning to skip school. I don't feel well and I don't feel like seeing my classmates with puffy eyes and a big headache lol

22. Are you excited for anything?
Not anymore. I think my excitement died when school started LOL.

23. Were you bad in high school?
I WASN'T bad in high school. I AM bad in high school 8D

24. What are you doing currently?
This stupid survey. :D

25. Is anything on your mind?
A lot, which doesn't help my headache at all. I think I should go to the hospital.

26. Do you ever wonder what your ex is up to?
Wtf, not really. I have this policy of never talking to him ever again, because God knows I have better things to do with my time that contemplate that jerk :P

27. Have you ever been given roses?
YES. Omg, First Year Field Trip. Pure win.

28. What is your all-time favorite romance movie?
Love and other Disasters, Love Actually and The Notebook :D

29. How many times have you honestly fallen deeply in love?
Oh God, probably 3. Two with people I know IRL and one with Okamoto Keito <3

30. What’s your current problem?
Chem. Physics. Life. (I think I've stated this before)

31. Have you ever had your heart broken?
You have no idea. (Just a few hours ago actually LOLzers)

32. Had a long distance relationship?
Oh crap, yes. LOL

33. Do you believe in the statement: once a cheater always a cheater?
Depends on the person. There are people that have a chance, the rest just suck.

34. How many kids do you want to have?
Twins.

35. What's your favorite color?
Blue, Black, Silver and secretly (but not anymore) green :)

36. Where do you shop the most?
Sandwich, and Mango. And GAP. And GUESS. (depends LOL)

37. Do you believe in love at first sight?
I believe in it, but I don't think I've ever encountered it.

38. Would you kiss the last person you kissed?
E-E-E-EH. No wei. The last person I kissed is someone I don't even pay attention to anymore =_= I've been in a lot of bad "relationships". I know, I'm irresponsible. Sue me D:

39. At what age did you start noticing the opposite gender?
High School.

41. Do you know someone who likes you?
Yes. He's an internet stalker. Someone save me. (and 2 more people that I'd rather forget)

42. Do you have a crush on anyone?
Yes. But he likes someone else.

43. When is the last time you cried?:
A few hours ago. Super Mega Giga Migraine.

44. Does anyone know why you're crying if you were?
Only a few people.

45. If someone liked you would you want them to tell you?
Yes, so I can either answer them, set them straight or convince them it's bad for their reputations lol.

46. Who are you going to talk to about your problems?
Blog. I rarely talk about my problems to people anymore. (Although I did rant about my parents awhile ago in lunch, because honest to God, I have a disfunctional family 8D)

47. Who is the last person you hugged?
OMG. I think it was Gorio LOL.

48. Who do you hate right now?
I'm not sure if you can call it hate. =_=

49. Do you sing/dance?
Yesh, but I didn't say I was good.

50. Are you good?
Oh crap, shitty question LOL.

51. Do you cry over boys/girls?
YES. :D

ugh. life.

2008-06-18T11:19:56Z

Okay, so it's pretty obvious that I've been more than detached from my fandom now.

One of my worst nightmares is happening - I'm starting to post less and less about my fandom. But the thing is, I actually keep a close look on my f-list. I know Ai Ai Gasa came up #1 on the Oricon charts. I know about the Code Blue magazine scans, also the fact that HSJ's SUMMARY tickets are officially sold out in a matter of two days.

I'm not completely detached.

You can say I'm lurking.

So yeah, I'm not dead people. I just need more motivation to comment on everybody's journals and flail about my fandom more =_=.

Short post. I want to write something about my life and this guy I sort of like but not really but then that'd be pushing it, and everybody knows I don't write about my lovelife on my journals.

So yeah.

Imisshoo all. Don't forget me =_=

Mental Throw-up

2008-06-15T09:58:50Z

Technically, I'm supposed to be too busy to post today.

In fact, I am.

But I just feel like relieving some STRess from all the homework and assignments.

I've been told time and time and again about how I over analyze, and think to much. I admit that already, but never has it really bothered me or affected me in such an adverse way.

I started to get burdened by it just recently, a.k.a. the "if he is you than who am i?" game.

That's just who I am, be it related to a game, a riddle, math, or even my love life. I over analyze it all.

And just awhile ago, I received a figurative slap in the face when my STR groupmate told me I think to much. I don't hold it against him, I know that already, but I never thought it would actually affect my performance one day.

I appreciate that slap in the face. I want to throw all my over analyzing ways away. I want to vomit it all up. Put it in my mental throw-up bag and flush it down the toilet like a mentally bulimic person.

People, don't forget to remind me not to think once in awhile, mmkay?

Take these plastic people
Read their lips, now let it linger
Is there anything that makes them sound sincere?
Tightly hold your hand
Take a deep breath, give them the finger
Are you worried
That your thoughts are not quite clear?

I noticed something.

2008-06-14T04:48:11Z

Last year, when I was making the transition from first year to second year, it took me a whole month to get used to writing my year and section as 2 - Dahlia instead of 1 - Garnet.

But now, as I am making the transition from a second year to third year, I've gotten used to writing III - Potassium in a matter of 3 days to a week.

It surprises me. This may be a mere muscle memory type of thing

Or something different.

I don't know.

I just felt like making the observation. I'll probably edit this post later. Or post a new one. Idunno.

I love my new layout

2008-06-12T13:56:06Z

I think you know by now that I have a secret love for the color green. Add to that Okamoto Keito and we have a perfect combination. Not to mention I love my new default icon.

It's so awesome and bright, and just what I need to see too boost up my morale after a tired day of school. Sorry, but the ugly, dull, brown one just didn't do it for me.

So, any opinions? :)

Kudos to anyone who can guess the song of the lyrics in my banner. Clue: They're translations of one of my fave songs :P (that doesn't help much does it? XD)

BTW, if there are any problems and ugly spots (especially if you're using browsers other than FF, please do tell me :)

QUICK SPAZZ BEFORE I LEAVE AKDHFALJKFAER

2008-06-10T10:16:55Z

Just when I thought Kung Fu Panda couldn't get any better (because we all know I've been dying to see it since forever),

IT JUST DID.

HEY!SAY!JUMP's singing the CREDITS song for Kung Fu Panda in Japan. (It's like the biggest thing I've squealed about since NewS did Happy Feet).

More info here.

HEY!SAY!JUMP is making one of the best computer animated films of the year even better than it already is.

HEY!SAY!JUMP, I LOVE YOU.

And Yamaguchi Tatsuya as Jack Black FTW lol.

This makes me want to fly over to japan just for the movie premiere x_x

For real life friends that don't know who HSJ are, they're the boys that look like girls on my pencil box =_=

Hey!Say!JUMP > Sam Conception any day ahahahaha

I'm a bit more secure now about my mental stability

2008-06-09T14:15:20Z

Last post of the day, I swear.

Just trying to assure people that I'm not autistic.

I scored a 14, an average score for a female who takes the Autistic Quotient Test. A.K.A. Contrary to popular belief, I AM NOT AUTISTIC :D

Take the test yourself :)

I'm messed up.

2008-06-09T12:12:01Z

I MESSED UP 69% OF MY TEENAGE LIFE~

[ ] gotten detention
[ ] gotten a phone taken away in class
[ ] gotten suspended
[x] gotten caught chewing gum
[ ] gotten caught cheating on a test
Total so far: 1
[x] arrived late to class more than 5 times
[x] didn't do homework over 5 times
[ ] turned at least 3 projects in late
[x]missed school just because you felt like it
[ ] laughed so loud you got kicked out
of class
Total So Far: 4
[x] got your mom,dad,etc to get you out of school
[x] text people during class
[x] passed notes
[x] threw stuff across the room
[x] laughed at the teacher
Total So Far : 9
[x] been in a fight at school, fist, verbal
[x] took pictures during school hours
[x] called someone during school hours
[x] listened to ipod,cd,etc during school hours
Total So Far : 13
[ ] threw something at the teacher
[x] went outside the classroom without Permission
[x] broke the dress code
[ ] failed a class
[x] ate food during class
Total So Far : 16
[ ] gotten a call from school
[ ] couldnt go on a field trip cause you behaved badly
[x] didnt take your stuff to school
[x] stuck up finger when the teacher was not looking
[x] cursed during class loud enough sothe teacher could hear you
Total So Far : 19
[x] faked your parents signature
[x] slept in class
[x] cursed at teacher
[x] copied homework
[ ] got in trouble with the principal
Total So Far : 23
*Multiply by 3*

Awesome number y'all. I messed up 69% of my life. There is an underlying meaning behind all this =_=
But it isn't so much of a big deal in my current school because we're allowed to do 45% of the things listed here anyway. Let's just say the teachers aren't so strict, or that we students don't allow them to be.

got this from kazhy419 btw

I feel like such a bad fangirl

2008-06-09T06:32:17Z

Remember me raving about the song Question? sang yesterday on SC? Well yeah, apparently, the reason I liked it so much was because I've heard it before. Yes, I have, on a KANJANI8 medley. And I feel even worse becuase it's on my iTunes and I listen to it everyday.

The song's title is Mihari (みはり).

I'm going to go wallow in my shame now.

Ignore this entry.

Fandom, oh how I've missed you.

2008-06-08T15:51:41Z

Lol, I'm supposed to be writing an English Formal Theme Essay, but what can I say, I'm a lazy bum, and I have more important things to do, like catching up with my fandom.

I haven't replied to any comments in my Inbox yet, I feel bad. I'll do it right after this post, because god knows you're all tired of my school posts and crap, so I might as well spoil myself with a long fandom post.

Shokura was an hour late today because of the NHK song concert, but at least I got to watch Ayaka's AWESOME performance of Okaeri before watching Shounen Club.

So today's Shokura theme was ROCK ~~but we all know what Johnny means by ROCK is just ghei music with lots of drums and guitar, so bleh :P~~

It started out with the ROCK version of Naniwa Iroha Bushi (yes, they have a rock version, and they even have a Trance Mix and a Christmas Version). Shoon being spazzy and staring at the camera like that is always awesome, although I do wish he had more screentime this SC. Yassu, being this month's guest, came out doing Subaru's supposed part in Naniwa Iroha Bushi and might I say, it doesn't suit him =_=

The ROCK medley was awesome as well, Osaka Obaachan Rock, She Said (Another KAT-TUN song I'm fond of), PIKA*NCHI (omg, squeal), Daybreak, and LIPS. Why two KAT-TUN songs and no NewS songs? I feel bad D:

But yeah, Hasshi is awesome as usual, singing Lips in his usual Akanishi Jin way, but someone who surprised me was Nozawa. He, apparently, has a pretty decent voice. It sent shivers down my spine in a good way 8D. A little more pimping and I'll be a certified fan. :P

I couldn't understand the letter segment because Hamanaka's Kansai-ben was too thick XD That, and I was talking to someone on Y!M. Forgive me x_x I'm not so much of a Butoukan and Kisumai fan s'why I didn't pay so much attention D: But from the laughs I heard from the audience, it must have been very amusing X_x

Butoukan is back, this time, not sporting white, but a rather dominating black. PFFT Johnny, just because they're wearing black doesn't mean the song automatically becomes ROCK. WTF. But I actually liked the new song, Sweet Butterfly. Although it did sound like they were saying YOUR BUTT FLY IN MIDNIGHT. =_=

Then came the talk segment with Yassu, I again, wasn't listening XD but what came after was AWESOME.

One of my FAVE K8 songs, MISETEKURE. I LOVE the song, but I don't love Yassu trying to sing like Subaru too much. It's sort of his normal voice, but then Yassu intentionally dragged his notes to try to sound like Subaru (IMO), so meh, not the best performance but I'll take it.

And then there was the Nekketsu Junior League segment. My first reaction = OH LOOK! IT'S NOZAWA! :O

I'm not used to seeing him so pimped, I'm sorry, but I have to admit, he was pretty awesome.

Second reaction = OMG WHY NO QUESTION? -sadface- Sigh, owell.

When put up against Sanada, Nozawa was BY FAR cuter. OMG did you see his little bark and the way he blinked his eyes??? HE'S ADORABLE. That's it, I'm a convert. ~~KEITO SAVE ME.~~

And then it was Tamamori vs Miyata. I forgot what they were supposed to do x_X I forgot to write it down, but I remember Miyata making me LOL :P

And then there was the UNFORGETTABLE Daite Seniorita Showdown with Fujigaya VS Senga. And Koyama did the Karaoke Emcee thing he did on HEYx3 during the Playback of Pi Performing lol. He's such a dork.

But yeah, Fujigaya actually made me SQUEAL. That's not normal people. It's not normal at all. I don't particularly like Fujigaya, so why the hell was I screaming? x_x

Senga, as usual, screwed it up and made a dork of himself, and in all honesty, I though Fujigaya was going to win, but lo and behold, Senga won. I was all WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH, and my mom came in and scolded me for being so loud D: (I forgot to lock my door)

But still, awesome.

I didn't catch the first part of the Goseki x Kawai battle because of my mom, but I came back in time to see Kawai's AWESOME acting XD Lol, he made me LOL so much.

Just when I thought nobody could beat that, Goseki came into screen and I remembered - Oh wait, Kawai's up against GOSEKI. It's a lose for Kawai for sure =_=

And hey, I was right XD Goseki won, but my love for Goseki grows every SC episode XD I think I might go back to my old ABC fangirling days. (yes, I did used to fangirl them. shut up)

After the Junior League segment we had a performance by Question? that I loved more than anything. I didn't catch the name of the song so if anyone knows it please tell me. I really loved it, almost as much as Parallel World. And who could forget Yodo's awesome voice. I mean, seriously, who would think that an awesome voice can come out of such a small compact and cute body D: (but wait, was it just me or were there no Fujie close ups? I didn't notice D: was he there? x_x I'm such a bad fangirl)

I felt a bit frustrated because during Q?'s performance, the audience, as usual, was as dead as a rock. I mean come on people, be lively! D:

More awesomeness was to come with another segment of KANSAI JUNIOR NI Q. Not as exciting as the last one, but OMG I love Itou Masashi XD He's so awesome. Hamanaka was so camera shy, it made me lol. And somewhere along the way, I noticed that Hamanaka looks a bit like Yassu o_O Owell.

The Junior ni Q segment was pretty short this week, but bleh, it's always short.

After there was a talk segment with ABC. Gocchi like The Rolling Stones, Tsuka likes Aerosmith, Totsu likes The Blue Hearts (?) and guess who Kawai likes? XDDDDDDDDDDD

His name starts with a MATSU and ends with a JUN.

MUSIC~~~~~~ STARTO!

XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

OMG SO AWESOME. MATSUJUN MONOMANE FTW.

But his real answer made me squeal even more. He said that he liked OKAMOTO KEITO KENICHI. And I thought this was going to be a Keito-less episode. XD It makes me smile to see that Okamoto Kenichi is a well-loved senpai. It makes me more secure that maybe someday, Keito'll be like that as well.

ABC was then going to perform one of Okamoto Kenichi's songs, entitled SHELTER. As usual, Nakamaru tried to squeeze himself into the performance, but failed.

ABC then began their performance. OMG it was awesome, again, I go into "OMG OKAMOTO KENICHI IS AWESOME" mode when suddenly the lights dim and Nakamaru actually COMES OUT and starts BEATBOXING. I was ROTFLMAO at Koyama's reaction XD

I can't believe Nakamaru was actually serious about joining them XDDDD The song was still awesome though. Lol.

And then the end credits were played to the song OH! MY DREAM!, a song, which I mentioned before, I liked. But seriously WTF Johnny. OH! MY DREAM! is not ROCK. x_x

Sigh, it's like I haven't fangirled in ages.

But just one little observation before I leave.

Have you noticed that Shoon's being pimped excessively?

Yes, I'm sure you have.

But then is it just me, or have you also noticed that when Shoon started to be pimped excessively, Reon seemed to be completely out of the picture? I don't know if it's just me not noticing Reon in the background or if he really just ISN'T THERE. Someone please tell me I'm wrong and that he's been appearing regularly because if he hasn't I'm going to be really worried. WHERE IS HE?

I was hoping they'd pimp Reon to the point that he'd catch up to Shoon and they'd debut as a duo or something, but if there's no Reon pimping the chance of that happening is ZERO. REON, WHERE ARE YOU? DDDDDDDDDD:

So yeah, happy and sad observations aside, I really miss fangirling like this. I hope you miss me as much too <3 But what I'm really going to miss are all my friends going on HIATUS. It's sad when you don't have any more people to fangirl with. D:

P.S. Like my new Hikaru - Beer Icon? 8D Proof that even Johnny doesn't know what the hell they're making their idols wear. Lol, Hikaru should be suspended :P

Goodbye Summer.

2008-06-01T14:22:41Z

I think watching the first Shounen Club of the month is a very appropriate way of ending the summer. On the last night of freedom from anything school related, nothing beats pondering over my fandom. I love it.

So yeah, aside from the fact that the last song, Precious One (one of the KAT-TUN songs I like) made me cry, tonight's Shounen Club was rather plain and boring.

Not to say that there weren't any good points at all.

The opening with Anniversary by Kinki Kids was awesome, and the medley was awesome. I never thought I'd know so many senpai songs, but apparently I knew just enough to know the songs in the medley. Don't even get me started when A.RA.SHI. started playing and I started rapping along with it x_x

Oh God, Koyama Megane fettish is kicking in.

And not to mention Yassu.

Nozawa, Sanada and Hasshi performed together.

I'm starting to speculate that the reason why random Juniors are grouped together rather than being formed into a unit is because Johnny doesn't want to repeat the same mistake of making a unit, giving hope to the fandom and then bashing it up in the end. In short, he wants flexibility, and he doesn't want us to get all emotional when he breaks people apart. Hence, the hasty replacement of Kamei with Nozawa in the supposed Sanada-Hasshi-Kamei trio. Not that I don't like Nozawa, it's just that I liked Kamei more.

So yeah, it's a very sad day when you see the death of the formation of Junior units, but as time moves on, the Jimusho changes, and this seems to be one of those changes. Goodbye semi-permanent Junior Units.

But back to Shounen Club. Did you notice how Nozawa pronounces 'dakara' as 'dakaRA'? Like the way foreigners speak it, with a soft 'r' rather than the usual Japanese 'dakaLRA' type of thing.

It makes me smile XD

And I also realized that I don't really like Hasshi's speaking voice. He should just sing all his conversations. I'll love him more then.

Also, I found out why Japanese people are so short. Apparently, for them, there is not 8 hours of sleep rule XD How unhealthy.

I was pissed with Heisei Post. They just killed it. What's the point of naming it after Heisei if there aren't any Heisei appearances? Wtf are two Showa Johnny's doing hosting Heisei Post? Doesn't that defeat the whole purpose? But I still love Yassu so that should be okay.

It's official Yassu + Guitars = pure unadulterated OTP.

I curse people who make Yassu the train ride of the whole Jimusho. He's more than just a pretty face, and just a bit, while he was playing, he didn't seem so GHEI.

As for the Kanjani8 Mania, there was no Shoon. But there was Question? so I had hoped that would make up for it. I was wrong D:

It was boring D: Although Ishigaki did get a chance to show off his otakuness once again. Remember the Takki Mania episode? XDDDD

WHAT'S HAPPENING TO YOU JOUNETSU RAINBOWS??? STEP IT UP DAMNIT.

I loled when Nakamaru brought out a Koyama Chibi Pic. It's revenge for the last time when Koyama brought out a Nakamaru chibi pic XD I love petty disputes between two grown men. It makes me feel less immature.

As for the KMF performance, I don't like how Kisumai tends to sex everything up unnecessarily. It reminds me of KAT-TUN. Although I really do love their song Kiss-my-me-mine x_x

~~I'm just happy they didn't perform FIRE BEAT.~~

Jr. Ni Q was less than hilarious D: I want the Kansai Juniors back. SHIGEOKA DAIKIIII~ D: BTW, everybody should stop bitching about Hikaru's teeth because we all know Nikaido's are probably ten times worse. Seriously D:

Did anybody else notice Koyama's arms in the Jr. ni Q segment? They were awesome x_x

Everybody's envious of Shintaro now - he's so FRESH. And he doesn't have body hair yet XDDDDD

Last but not least there's Butoukan. ~~I thought they were dead already. Apparently not.~~

Yara's as GHEI as ever with his brown streak of hair x_x Did I mention I LOVE Tsuka's new black hair? (Yeah, I think I mentioned that during the Dreams Come True MS performance) But I can't help but think it's just a week and any day it could turn back to that horrendous blonde D:

Sigh, it may not seem like I enjoyed this SC as much as I did with other episodes, but this SC was still special. It was special because I watched it to commemorate my last day of freedom. That might be a lame way to commemorate it, but hey, to me, it's just what I need to move on and refocus my life.

Thank you Johnny's. I'll be back :)

P.S. KAT-TUN'S Queen of Pirates isn't so bad. I love OUR STORY already.

WHAT'S WITH ALL THE KEITO HATE???

2008-06-01T00:20:20Z

I just felt like asking.

Because the newest JE secrets post makes me D: bigtime

Keito, don't worry, we still love you D: You're not incompetent, and you're not just in HSJ cuz of your father. D:

I hafta go to church now D:

But still, I demand rebuttals to those KEITO!hate posts D: Anyone? I'd do one myself, but then I have school tomorrow (and for the next 7 months)

Looks to spheksophobia. Keito isn't that bad... is he? D

I just feel like flailing

2008-05-31T06:39:36Z

It's not even a major flail. It's just a sigh-this-picture-is-so-perfect-flail.

It's not even a full body picture.

Yeah, it's from that HSJ statistics and measurement thing that was just recently scanned, and might I say, these angles are the best I've seen of my two favorite people in a long time. Keito should definitely tilt his head forward more - it makes him look like a sad little puppy. AND OMG KEITO HAS THE LETTER 'A' ON HIS FACE X_X ~~'A' for ADA XD~~

and this picture of Yabu is very reminiscent of one of my favorite Matsujun pictures

Yehp, just a little more pursing of the lips and we've got it.

Sorry for the sensless post, just felt like flailing.

AND ALSO, if anybody has the HSJ clipping/poster/whatever with the above pictures in them, I'd be glad to take it off your hands for even a ridiculously high price.

I slept early yesterday.

2008-05-31T03:20:38Z

Somehow, I am quite proud of myself. Although I still haven't trained myself to get up early as well.

I've been having series after series of school-related dreams, and what bothers me most is that they're clashes of my old school and my current school, so I end up finding it quite difficult and confusing when I try to recall any of them. I think it's just another exhibition of my anxiety for the upcoming schoolday on monday.

When I saw spheksophobia's entry on Summer beginning wherever she is, I started to spite myself, this country and the whole equator. I don't want summer to end, and unlike a lot of other people in my batch, I have no reason whatsoever, not even a little tiny reason, to be excited for the school year. D:

No, I'm not looking forward to the retreat, I'm not going.

No, I'm not looking forward to prom, I don't find any guys in my batch attractive. (except for Mr. Yabu Lookalike, but I've said it time and time and again that he's taken D: ) And I don't like wearing dresses or standing in 5 inch stilettos.

No, I'm not looking forward to any electives, I'm probably gonna be screwing them all up anyway. (I like fourth year electives better D:)

Someone please give me a reason to even pursue 3rd year, before I drop out completely.

Sometimes, I wish I was in Japan so I could not take High School entirely. It's not required, so you can start working right after you get out of Junior High School. Awesome, huh?

As for my fandom, I am devoting 80% of my stipends and savings to you - that is how much I treasure you. I don't plan on really even eating a lot in school (especially since they got rid of all the yummy stalls OH MY CRISS-CUT FRIES I MISS YOU) so why not just save the money and use it for something to make the school year more bearable.

I earnestly want to have something to flail about, but I can only end up angsting and emoting whenever I watch something flail-worthy because it feels like that'll be the last time I'll be able to flail in a long time. Keito, don't despise me D:

The music I'm listening to is making me cry DDDDDDDDDDDD: ;_;

School need not be void of Fangirl-ism

2008-05-29T14:43:54Z

So right now I'm still mourning the start of class next week, and I don't really expect anything from my new class except that we probably won't get a single walkout in because of the uptight girls in my class, but ohwell. I guess I can deal with it. I am determined to accept as little responsibility as I can this school year, to make room for higher priorities (OMG SUMMER DRAMAS XDDD)

I already have people I don't quite like in my class. But I think I've solved that by resolving to stay as far away from them as I possibly can this year. Everyone wish me luck.

The only good thing that I'm quite happy about is also how much I've tried to make my fandom a part of my school life. With my HSJ Clearbooks and my new HSJ pencil case, that isn't so much of a problem anymore. But I managed to squeeze in a little extra something while shopping for extra school supplies today.

Yes, that is my subtle tribute to Yayayah in Stabilo Eraser form. It just so happened that they came in the exact shade of Yayayah colors that Yayayah used to wear when their show was still airing. I was amused and insisted that I get all four colors, to my Dad's annoyance.

I also bought an Arashi set of pencils that I won't be bringing to school because of the lack of space in my HSJ pencil box. Now when I use a pencil or an eraser, I have a name for it. Right now, I have Shoon, Yabu and Hikaru in my bag, while Taiyo is resting comfortably in my HSJ Pencilbox, along with my Ohno, Matsujun, and Sho pilot ballpens. Yes, school life is good.

Don't look at me that way. You all know you're just jealous deep inside XDDDD